This post is going to be a departure from the norm for this as I feel I want to document the next few days. So I will be posting at least daily from today until E leaves hospital.
On that note, the decision is that E will have open heart surgery, for the second time in 6 months, tomorrow. Since we were told that, a week ago, I feel like I have just about stumbled through what absolutely had to happen. A variety of appointments, seeing surgeon etc etc.
So we reset the clock, we get C packed off with gaga (not lady) for the weekend and nanny looking after him before and after school.
I thought I'd try and blog this for a few reasons, firstly that I want to be able to look back at this. I can now say the memory fades. I forgot how bad the knot in the stomach is. I forgot how endless the waiting feels. I forgot how much I ache to be allowed to lay on the table myself. However, I do remember asking for advice of what to expect and what the days in hospital are like. So, I will hopefully help a few people one day through detailing this experience. Odd that the next few days do not feel like a journey into the unknown, rather a familiar and unwelcome path...
So, to the title. E's surgeon, as he must, explained to me the risks in detailed percentage terms. Risk of death, risk of brain injury etc etc. I resisted the urge to quote Han Solo, "never tell me the odds!". So it is with this, that this dad is off to navigate this particular asteroid field.
In the long wait tomorrow I'll check in about progress and the inevitable " I don't know how you're even functioning".
Ready to roll the dice one more time!