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Saturday, March 24, 2012

Would I Change it?

So,  following on from "What if we had known?" is the perhaps more relevant question (because we didn't) of whether I would change what E is.  Now before anyone gets me wrong, E is my son and that remains, and he will be every bit as loved and cared for as his brother, every single bit!  I will always have a careful planning eye on E's future because I will always want to make sure he is looked after.

I guess this is something i was always going to ask myself - would I change E if I could?  I have read a lot recently about parents of special needs kids saying they wouldn't change them for anything, and i get the impression that this is part of the way people deal with things.  Again, like the last post, I am not here to judge anyone, just give my thoughts and feelings and look back on them one day just to see how things change along the alternative route life appears to have taken.

So, where do I stand on this?  I would give everything I own, just not to here the words E has Williams Syndrome. If one of his Dr's told me tomorrow to leave the house and everything and start again and E would not have Williams Syndrome I'd get up early to get out first thing and start again.  I love E, and I know he wouldn't be the same if he didn't have Williams Syndrome, but the over riding thing here is that, he wouldn't have Williams Syndrome!  I would have to worry about him like I have to worry about C, but not all of the additional medical and future concerns.  I will always be proud of him, happy for him, sad with him.  I will try to bring him up to be everything that he can - but that doesn't change the fact that I would happily give my own life if it meant E would live without the difficulties which are likely to come his way.

Both my sons are cute, both amaze me, and both make me happy and unhappy in their own little ways and whatever i can do to make their lives full, fulfilling and fun I will do.  Frankly, if one day in 30 years time, my sons come and watch a game of rugby with their old Dad I'll be happy.  Interestingly, E having Williams Syndrome has made me even more determined to let both of my kids follow their own path, as long as it is inside the law!

I would like to add to this, that C is susceptible to Croup - and for the record I would change that too!  The trip to hospital he took in an ambulance made me realise again that E isn't the only one who needs watching and caring for.


So kids, print this and test me on it one day, lets see how I did.  Although if the offer is ever put, I am not sure you'll be able to print it, read it or that i will be able to write any more.

Next up a post about more fundraising.