It is amazing, sitting in a ward where everyone has there own problems, that people are sharing their stories. It is like the collective strength is greater than the some of its parts. In reality, no one has enough energy to actually help others beyond some very superficial aid.
Of course, the mums are better than the dads at this. Mums share better, they are permitted to show weakness and will receive support. Dads just focus on their child and not showing any weakness...
I have had an epiphany, the mums way has some benefit. Now don't get me wrong, I have not been gossiping and swapping tales in the parents room. After all I don't need to. I am the one that comes with E and Es mum - everyone knows them on the ward! (E could make friends in a phone box). I have had a couple of brief conversations, but I have looked elsewhere for my release.
If you look back at my blog you will see some sporadic posting with large gaps... But I have kept to my promise of daily posts here. Don't for one minute think that was a promise to anyone other than myself. This is my release, my aide memoire. This is me telling no one in particular my thoughts, feelings and fears. This is my parents room - with no faces.
I think you need that too. If you try to plough on alone, you will get stuck. Perhaps the mums have the best idea - it just isn't really me but I found my way. I have noticed that there is no jealousy. There are some little ones who are better or worse, who have more or less serious cardiac problems. No one begrudges you if your one recovers sooner. I do worry what people think, when E wanders around saying hiya and demanding cuddles. Do you know though, they all seem genuinely pleased, of course they wish it was them, but they are pleased!
The true nature of the vent of this blog came home last night. While writing it, I fell asleep in the pull down bed. So I didn't quite make a post every day but I'm sure you can forgive me that.
E has woken up fighting - you got your blood pressure over night - NO MORE!
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