Today I became aware of something of a theme in my thoughts and (sometimes) words. It's not a positive theme - but the idea is that I am not hiding from my emotions.
I caught myself today and reaised it was not the first time - what did i do? - I was exlaining to my wife that it DID look like E had Williams Sydrome, from the look he is developing - like it was something that has not yet been written. To explain, we had the results of the genetic testing which confirms he has Williams Syndrome, members of the UK Williams Syndrome Foundation have said that he has the characteristics, and not least i am blogging about my journey as a Dad of a child with Williams Syndrome!
Somewhere, deep inside, there is still a thought/wish/hope that all of this is not true. This is me telling myself, and anyone else who reads it, that the denial will be dug out and dispached. I have started to make the fact more public. I now have a symbol on my FB profile pic in support of Williams Syndrome, I have told most of my close friends and i have sought out some possible support groups.
I accept I'm not there yet, but i now know that I'm not trying to hide from it myself or hide it from others. My youngest son has Williams Syndrome and whatever he acheives, I will be very proud of him - and that is no different from the eldest who does not have Williams.
Brave words I hope I can live up to!